Africa, finally!

Thanks Kim for such a great graphic of Kitale, Kenya!

One month ago today, I was dropping Ethan off of the fair and heading to the church to meet the team that would be traveling with me across the world to Kitale, Kenya, Africa.

L-R: John, Mark, Joe (team leader), Stan, Cheri- AKA: Mama Cheri, Fred, Stephanie, Nancy, Me, Amy, Donna. Not pictured: Amy (BFFK) and Jamey.

On the way to the church, Scott was very sweet and gave me a tiny piece of advice that meant so much to me. He said, "Try everything". I thought that he was talking about food, but he was talking about the entire experience in general. After all, when will be the next time that I get to experience Africa?

The flights went smoothly. We left from Greensboro and made a quick jaunt up to Washington DC. From there it was the first long leg- to Zurich. I had my own row of two seats the entire way to Zurich, so I was able to rest some while sticking my toe socks up in the air. LOL! It was so cool to be in Switzerland, I don't care if it was only the airport!!! (But, dang- they are expensive!!!)

PLUS, I got to see the Swiss Alps!!! How cool is that? They were so incredibly beautiful from the air. Oh, and Swiss Air is the bomb. Best service ever, plus they have GREAT milk!

All I kept wanting to do, though, is yell "Reeeeee-cooo-laaaaa". hehe.

We also flew over Greece or Italy- maybe both. I just know that it was the Mediterranean.

And, it was probably the closest that I will ever be to either of those places ever again...UNLESS (LORD WILLING), I get to return to Africa someday.


Arriving into Nairobi. These nifty little tv's on the back of the seat in front of you was high tech for me. I loved the map. I found myself watching the map a lot. So I guess I can say that flight trackers are awesome.

We made it through customs without any problems. There were men outside the airport immediately wanting to help you for money. Before leaving the airport, we exchanged our money. The rate was 72 schillings to one dollar. So, I exchanged $200 for over 14 thousand schillings. Boy, did I feel wealthy!

It took us quite a while to get from the airport to our destination for the evening. The traffic in Nairobi was unreal. People walk everywhere and hope to catch a ride on a bus. The smell of diesel is profound. I had quite the headache before we got to Margaret's. But, we did finally arrive to this beautiful compound. We had pizza waiting for us when we arrived and we were all able to just relax for a while and even get on the internet to let loved ones back home know that we made it!

This was me and Amy's (bffk) studio.


Amy and I stayed up WAY late just being chatterboxes and apparently others knew it because the walls were pretty thin. SORRY.

The next day, we woke up nice and early to have breakfast and then head out on our way to Kitale. I had taken one of Ethan's blankets with me so I could snuggle with it when I was having a "missing Ethan" attack. I so, inconveniently, forgot his blanket AND my makeup bags in Nairobi. I did not realize this until the following day, but I was very lucky that Margaret is a friend of Cheri's and she mailed me back my blanket and "stuff" (as Joe so affectionately kept referring to it).

Looking around every turn we made, I was still in awe that I was actually in Africa! The thought still blows my mind. I never wanted to be there...until God had other plans for me, and I thank God that He did. The vision of poverty was apparent. But, I also saw hard-working people. Carrying water jugs on your head with a baby on your back is not abnormal there. Animals ran wild. And, I am talking baboons, donkeys, sheep, zebras...


The scenery was stunning though. I never in my wildest imagination would have thought that I would say that the scenery in Africa is beautiful!

Mark and I self-posing with Rift Valley behind us


Just me this time...it was breezy!


About half way into our trek up to Kitale, we stopped at Lake Nakuru National Park. Talk about gorgeous. Funny story...when we were getting ready to get off of the bus, the bus driver said to be sure that our windows were closed because the native, um monkeys, would find their way in to steal our stuff. Well, we all closed our windows and doors, but the bus driver left his window WIDE open. A lovely native found himself enjoying our recently purchased pretzels...


Some pictures from the game park:














And, just in case you were wondering how the restroom facilities were...

(No, I did NOT use this. There was a real toilet that was much easier on the knees- LOL!)

We left Lake Nakuru after seeing many different animals. LOTS of flamingos. We missed the lions- they were hiding. But, it was so much different seeing these animals in their natural habitat versus the zoo. I am so lucky to have been able to see such a wonder.

On the road again...WE CROSSED THE EQUATOR!



This road trip was a long one, but I am glad that we did it. I can say that I have experienced a Kenyan highway and all of its potholes. I can say that we did have to pull over on the side of the road for a potty break behind a bush. I can say that I got to arrive into Kitale, Kenya with the most unbelievable sunset of my life...




***To Be Continued...***

I'm having trouble with this

Ok, so the election is over. YAY. I have become a Facebook addict over the past couple of months and someone sent me this "piece of flair". I have been having trouble thinking about what it really means. Yes, I know that Sarah Palin is pro-life and anti-abortion, but I see something very disturbing in this statement on, what should be, an innocent little button.

You see, when I read it, I see that people want to keep abortion legal for birth control use. This is not the rape/incest argument behind abortion, this is someone actually attempting to make a stand to say that they have the "right" to choose an abortion, aka: killing a baby, because they were irresponsible with their sexual activity. And yes, I know that people taking proper precautions still get pregnant, so I am not talking about that either. I am talking about the men and women who go about having sex with each other "in the moment" and then think it's ok because they have the right to choose abortion if they were to have a mistake pregnancy. I don't know, maybe I am rambling...I just found the dang button disturbing.

Insurance!

So, Scott and I have not had any medical insurance since February. It's not something that we could afford privately and Scott's employer did not have a group plan. We just sat back and prayed that nothing major happened to us to where we needed coverage!

Well, Scott's employer has offered to pay for our coverage!!! How awesome is that? God is so good to us. I tell ya...

Testing

I think that I figured out how to have my signature show up at the end of a post...let's see!!! Yep, it works!

Surgery is scheduled

Eurodynamics: Nov. 14th
Pre-op: Nov. 18th, check into Ronald McDonald House
Surgery: Nov. 19th

Will be in the hospital 2-5 days, Lord willing.

Moved up from January. :-)

Speech Therapy and Stuff

We had a speech therapy eval today. The funny thing about it is that it was with the same SLP that did Ethan's vitalstim. The difference is that we had to really discuss and observe what types of communication assistance will work best for Ethan. I think overall, it was a good visit.

I am so tired today. Trying to not catch a cold. Ethan is trying too. His walking was superb yesterday! He walked everywhere showing off to people what he could do! It was so cute! Today, I think that he was sore! LOL! He didn't want to walk much.

Last night, I spoke at church about my experience from Africa. People said that I did a good job, so I hope that I did and they aren't just being nice. :-) I started my blog about Africa, but everytime that I go to add a picture, it adds the wrong one. It was beyond frustrating, so I stopped. It's a draft at the moment and I will get back to it eventually.

Today, I went to MOMS at church for the first time. It was so wonderful to be surrounded by such beautiful women. I can't wait to get to know them better.

Another Fletcher update

He is OFF of the vent!!!! OFF, OFF, OFF!!!! Still needing O2 and bi-pap at times, but OFF of the vent!!! Thank you GOD!!!

Fletcher update

This is a seizure- it's like a firestorm in the brain


Cautiously optimistic. He is still on the vent, but agitated, so that is actually a good sign that he is still the fighter that we know he is. Please continue to pray for him! Thanks!

Mizungos!!!

Today was a busy one, I need a nap! Ethan had OT at 9. It went OK. He was a pistol. He was wanting to throw everything instead of focusing on his task. It wasn't until the OT put him, belly down, on a bouncy ball that he completed his task of shape sorting. Lil' stinker...

What he did do that was awesome was he walked across the entire room (big open space!) and just kept wanting to show off! His PT was so impressed! She asked when he started the walking and I said, "Oh, last week!". It was the coolest thing- he went to drop to the floor midway and then decided to keep going, so he actually bent down and pushed himself back up! That is huge!!! It was quite exciting.

I met with my Kenya bunkmates, aka: MIZUNGO'S, for lunch. I love these ladies. I was feeling down about a few things and they were what I needed to perk back up. Thank you, Mama Nancy, Amy (BFFK), Mama Donna, and Amy for such great company today.
(The locals in Africa call white people mizungo's, so we heard it a lot- LOL!)

After lunch, I was able to talk with Mark again- another Kenya BFFK. I love how God put all of these wonderful people in my path and that we all became close friends! We could have all had opposite personalities and looked forward to the time that we didn't have to spend 24/7 with each other, but not this group! I miss them all so much, so if I can talk to them on the phone or see them for lunch, I am beyond happy.

Ethan also had his endocrinologist appointment today. Big waste of my time, really. We had some blood drawn, but unless it shows that Ethan has a growth hormone deficiency, there really isn't anything else to look at for his lack of growth (hormonally anyway). Chances are that his lack of growth is due to the tethered cord, but I just wanted to make sure that there wasn't something else...this is Ethan we are talking about here after all.

I really don't care if Ethan is small. I just don't want there to be another underlying medical issue that we are missing. We, myself and the medical community combined, have placed hidden blame too many times before- I just want to have everything checked. If the blood test- which takes about 3 weeks to get the results- comes back positive for growth hormone deficiency, then we would have to decide whether or not to do injections. I am kind of thinking that unless he would need the shots to prevent further medical issues, we would opt out. But, I don't know enough about that yet to really make a concrete decision.

Since Scott got home early, I was able to go vote without taking Ethan with me. That was nice. Even nicer was the fact that I was in and out of the polling place in SEVEN MINUTES. Yeah, I rock.

Did ya, did ya???

My trusty sticker says so!

This day is FINALLY here!!!

Lillian Update

Kamrin says that the surgery went well and that my dad is in Boston. I guess she didn't recognize him at first. :( That's about all I know, but still ask you to pray for her recovery. Thank you.

Walking Progress Video

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I could not be happier with his progress lately. Can you imagine how he'll improve after his cord is detethered!??!!? WOW!

Pray for Fletcher!!!

To all my prayer warriors, please:

My friend's son, Fletcher, has been put into a medical induced coma after a 5 1/2 hour seizure! He has now been put on a ventilator as well. The family were recently uprooted from NC to a very far away place with the military and have no support system where they are. This is serious folks, please, please, please pray for Fletcher's healing and for that darn seizure monster to leave him alone!!!

Thank you so much!!!
~Kristen

I love this boy.

This was taken on my phone yesterday at the Cheesecake Factory. I love it when I can capture his smile. Thank you God for giving me such a precious son.

Happy Halloween!

Today is the last day of the 31 for 21 blogging challenge. I fell short on two days out of the month, but posted more than once on some days, so I hope that I still came through for the challenge ok. Today is also the last day of Down Syndrome Awareness Month. Today also marks Halloween.

I did not grow up celebrating Halloween, so I don't really get into it that much. I do dress Ethan up every year and take him out trick or treating with Madison and Delaney over in their neighborhood. Last year, Ethan was Buzz Lightyear and walked around in his big walker. This year, Ethan was Buzz Lightyear and he walked one-handed up to the doors. Yes, he was Buzz again, but if you have been paying attention in class, you would already know that Ethan has not grown over the past year and I was not paying for another costume when he couldn't care less what I put him in. He still looks cute as Buzz, so sue me. :-)~

Each time we went up to a door, he was all happy and when it came time to leave he practically put the brakes on and started to fuss. I can just imagine next year when he is running!!! :-)

We had a good day/night. We are really tired now, but I wanted to make sure to get in the blog for the day!





One more thing...
Please say a prayer for my dad's mom, Lillian. She was supposed to have heart surgery today, but fell and hit her head, got a blood clot and ended up having to have the pressure released (or that is what I was told...I think). I still don't know if they were able to move forward with the heart surgery today or not. I know that my dad is looking for flights to Boston to be with her. I am really hoping that he is able to find the right deal to be able to be with his mom during this time. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers for both Lillian and my dad.

Duke Neurosurgery Appointment

Today, my BFFK (best friend forever Kenya) Amy and I took Ethan to Duke Children's Hospital to meet with Dr. Fuch's for a second opinion about Ethan's tethered cord syndrome.

I have felt that Duke has been much friendlier during this process. When we arrived, I just felt like it was an actual children's hospital geared toward- um, children. What a concept. Brenner's is fairly new and feels very stale. The walls at Duke are decorated with children's art...how cool is that?

Dr. Fuch's was very friendly and answered my questions without making me feel like a dummy. He did not mock me in any way. He ordered the urodynamics test for pre-surgery and he is going to have his secretary try to work us in sooner than later. If all goes according to plan, we will have urodynamics and pre-op on the same day, check into the Ronald McDonald House, and then have surgery the following morning.

Dr. Fuch's performs this surgery all the time. He said that he has over 400 cases per year. This versus the one a month that the other neurosurgeon says that he may do. I feel so at peace with the decision to stay with Dr. Fuch's!!!

The surgery will take about 45 minutes and Ethan will have to be in the hospital for a few days. Dr. Fuch's was very attentive to the fact that Ethan will need a little extra help staying down post-op. (He is supposed to lay flat for a couple of days!) Another thing that I just loved was that they allow me into the operating room until he is asleep. I think that alone may have sold me. Ok, not really, but I am such a control freak about Ethan's care that I try to be with him until he is asleep with any procedure and the last few that he's had with sedation, they make me leave before he's down. Grrrr, I hate that.

Ethan will have a private room post-op and I will be able to stay with him. They have chairs that fold into beds or some rooms actually have murphy beds for parents.

Here's a laugh for you- the pediatric urologist's name is Dr. Weiner. Laughing? Yeah, I am too. LOL!

If we cannot get in any sooner, we are scheduled for urodynamics January 5th. I will keep everyone updated.

We went to Cheesecake Factory for lunch. Yummy. Ethan didn't really want to eat, which is not like him, so hopefully he's going to eat dinner well.

Scott had one of his wisdom teeth pulled today so he looks like he's been punched on his left side. He's doing pretty good and Heather just called to say for him to take tomorrow off too. Ethan is out of school, so it looks like a FaulknerFam day!!! :-)

Happy Birthday Grandma Lynda!

Today is Scott's mom's birthday. The above picture was taken during Ethan's Make A Wish trip to Orlando, Florida. Lynda LOVES horses and we were able to have our picture taken with a clydesdale at SeaWorld. Beautiful animal...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYNDA!!! We love you, miss you, and look forward to seeing you soon!!! Thank you for the support that you have given us over the years! We know how much you love us, and how much Ethan means to you! Thank you for being his advocate back home in California. Your actions speak much louder than any words- ok, so your words may be your actions, but still. :) Ethan loves you so much and I know that he can't wait to see you again. Have a wonderful birthday! *muah*

Great Day!

Ethan had OT this morning. His school OT joined us, which was awesome! I love that I have people surrounding us that want to do what's best for Ethan! I love that we all are wanting to be on the same page. The big news of the session was that Ethan stacked a block!!! This is HUGE! He is usually master of destruction and wants no part of stacking blocks. And, even though he didn't get the second block on top of the other before wanting to knock them over, I was just elated that he stacked a block all by himself!!! Round of applause please...

After therapy, I took Ethan over to another school for their fall festival celebration. They have the children get dressed up in their costumes and play games, make crafts and stuff since the regular school does not allow kids to dress up anymore- I have mixed feelings on that, but it's all good.

While at the school, I ran into a friend whose daughter passed away one year ago today. This woman amazes me with her strength and determination to have life go on. Her daughter was such a blessing to all who knew her and she definitely got some of her fighting spirit from her fabulous mother!

I also ran into Jamie and Lil' Richard. Jamie was a HUGE part of me actually going to Africa. She supported me (in more ways than one) with my decision and encouraged me to go. I cannot wait to actually sit down and tell her all about it. Plus, she may want her camera back someday. LOL!

After I left the school, I went and had lunch with Nancy- a fellow Kenya teammate. Oh how I love this woman. She has held my hand through some tough spots and I know that she will continue to encourage me and lift me up. I love you Momma Nancy!!!

Then, I went over to my former CU employer. I got to talk about Africa to so many there. I just smile when I get to talk about the trip and what an impact it has had on me. Yes, yes, yes...I promise to write about it soon. Now that my head is clear- I think- I should be able to do it soon...maybe tomorrow.

So, Ethan is napping and I have laundry to do. Great day. Toodles.

Swallow Study

Ethan had his follow-up modified swallow study this morning. This was to see if he had any improvement since finishing up his second round of Vitalstim therapy. There was some improvement- not a terrible amount, but some. He is also still swallowing about 2 seconds too late, so there is still a definite need and purpose to thickening his food/drink.

One step at a time...

OH, speaking of steps...Ethan took close to FIFTEEN independent steps!!! I had just taken him back to school after the study and it was time for PE. He was all happy as we were walking, so I let go of his hand and he just kept going!!! Stood tall and straight and away he was going! I about cried. Ok, I did cry, but it was a very HAPPY cry. He was so proud of himself, you could tell. Just wait until after his detethering! LOOK OUT!!! :-)

Make A Wish Reunion @ Carowinds

Faulkner Family Portrait... wouldn't be an accurate picture without Ethan screaming DON'T CAMERA ME!!!! lol!


Today, we went to Carowinds for the annual Make A Wish Family Reunion. MAW gives us parking permits, lunch, and free admission. The last time we went, Ethan had just had his ear tubes put in and his adenoidectomy. He did NOT have a good time. He freaked out on everything that we put him on, including the carousel and swings. Today was a different story.


He rode the cars.


He rode the boats.


He rode the swings...TWICE.




He rode the flying balloons. This ride absolutely freaked him out the last time! There were some moments when he got a little frightened, but he ended the ride laughing and that was so cool to witness.


Ethan was quite the tired little boy when we left. He was asleep fairly quickly after getting in the car. I hate that he falls asleep chewing on his bib...it's comforting to him though.


On the way home, we saw hot air balloons flying around. They were so beautiful. I am not sure if you can see it well, but I thought the beautiful North Carolina fall foliage was worth capturing too.

Good day, good day. And to think...I woke up not wanting to go.

Woops again!

I thought I blogged yesterday, but I didn't! Ooops again for 31 for 21! My bad!

Anywho- Ethan had his GI follow-up yesterday. Because of the new tethered cord diagnosis, we are holding off on ANY GI surgery. No g-tube, no pyloraplasty. I am happy with this decision. I am also happy that the surgeons were not jumping to get Ethan into surgery that may cause more harm than good down the road. So, we will wait at least 3 months post-detether before even thinking about it again.

YAY, it's Saturday. The week flew by. Partly because when I wasn't taking Ethan to school or an appointment, I was sleeping. I think I was over the jet lag around Thursday. It is crazy for me to think that this time last week, I was on a plane from London to Chicago. I am dreaming of being back in Kenya. I miss the people and the children especially.

I will post about Africa, I promise. Along with pictures, but until then, here's some photo albums to look through. Enjoy.


Africa album
Africa Album 2
Africa Album 3
London Baby!

I'm sorry, did you say NORMAL!??!

I took Ethan to his ENT appointment this morning to go over the sleep study results. Overall, the study was NORMAL!!! That is such a change of pace from what we have been hearing lately. PRAISE GOD.

He did have one apnea episode per hour and some shallow breathing, but his respiration never fell below 92%, so that is good. Ideally, they would like him at 94 or 95%, but 92% is not that bad. It was recommended to repeat the study annually, but our dr. doesn't feel that is necessary unless I notice some significant changes in sleep pattern. I trust this ENT more than anything, so I am rolling with his recommendation. Plus, I love the idea of not having to do another sleep study anytime soon- even if it is in a year!

Another thing that I appreciate so much about our ENT is that he wants to know about ETHAN. Not just Ethan's ENT stuff. He wants to know how his leukemia treatments were going, or how his behaviors are. I told him about the tethered cord and my reservations about the neurosurgeon at Brenners and he just solidified the way I feel. He was so supportive and told me exactly what I needed to hear in order to not completely feel like a overprotective mama bear.

We have a second opinion appointment at Duke next week. I am so happy with how quickly they got us in! My friend, Amy- who went to Kenya with me, will accompany me to Duke. It will be nice to have someone with me at one of these appointments for once.

I am finally over the jet lag. Boy, that sucked. Well, not really---I love to sleep. LOL! I miss all of the team members from the Kenya trip. It has been like some sort of decompression without them all. I met up with Amy today at Starbucks and we are all having dinner tomorrow. We called Mark in Florida- it was so good to hear his voice again. These are forever friends that God placed in my life and I am forever grateful. Now, if I can just get motivated to tell you all about Africa. Let me just say, IT WAS AWESOME!!!

Forgiveness

While I was in Africa, I made a decision to forgive someone who I have been hurt by and had also been harboring anger towards. It's amazing how good it feels to forgive. I met up with this person tonight. We smiled, I cried. But, there was zero anger. None. It's gone. I don't know if it took me going to Africa to see that there are worse things in the world, but I did find out about people forgiving their rapists- surely I could forgive if they could.

I have so much to be thankful for, and now I have forgiven something that had been bringing me down for a long time and I feel awesome.

MORE Twins!?!?!??

What is in Hollywood's water!?!?!? Geesh...

Latest: Charlie Sheen

Others:
Angelina & Brad
Rebecca Romign & Jerry O'Connell
JLo & Marc Anthony
Patrick Dempsey

Who am I missing? It really doesn't matter. Just an observation...

Slacker

After all of my hard work to pre-schedule posts while I was in Africa, I fell asleep yesterday so early that I didn't get a post in at all! SLACKER! :-( Hopefully, my additional posts on certain days made up for that. LOL!

Ethan is used to having Mommy home already. Lil' stinker...

I have to gear up to write about Africa. There is SO much to say and I don't know where to begin. Soon, I hope.

Ethan had his neurosurgery appt. yesterday. He needs the surgery to detether his spinal cord. Now, I just need to get a second opinion...but, the surgery could be soon.

More to come soon. I have to pick up with Ethan's story sometime.

Awww....

So, I think that thing called jet lag kicked in today. I laid down around 1pm and was drug out of bed around 8:30pm so I could eat/drink. I am SO tired. Pictures/video from Africa are ready to be uploaded to Shutterfly, but not until tomorrow. I'm too tired to begin the process...

As the pictures finished loading to my computer, I attempted to weed through my e-mail's (over 400- yuck).

So, it appears that my sister did some blogging while I was away...

Awwwww, I love you too, Kim. Leave her a comment- I know that she will appreciate it!

*Oh yeah, I am HOME!* ;-)

Ethan's Story, Part VII

Watching the EMS team come into the hospital with the infant isolette made me about crumble. My baby is supposed to be going home with ME in OUR car to OUR home. This is not how it is supposed to be!

EMS took two polaroid pictures of Ethan in case anything happened in transit. My nurses were great- they made sure I had enough medicine and supplies for myself because they knew that I would not be going home. My doctor was kind enough to not make me sign myself out of the hospital.

By 10:30pm, we were headed to VCH to meet the ambulance. Who knew 24 hours earlier that we would be watching our son drive away in an ambulance instead of cuddling and bonding?

My parents were in Oakdale when I told them that we were being transferred. That is close to 2 hours away from Fresno. They met me in the ER. I always say how funny it was to need my Mommy so intensely at that moment. Ethan was checked into the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). We were allowed to be in the room at any time except shift changes, but were not allowed to sleep there.

Our friends, Elvira & Brian, lived in Fresno and opened their home to us with open arms at 2am+ since the Ronald McDonald house could not take in any new families that late at night. They lived about 10 minutes from the hospital...it was the most excruciating feeling to leave Ethan at the hospital.

The next day- or I guess it would just be later that morning, I took a shower and just cried. I was in pain physically and emotionally. We could get in to see Ethan around 7:30am and I wanted to be there as soon as we were allowed in.

Before we could hold Ethan, we had to 'scrub in' with a surgical brush for three minutes. We also had to wear a gown.


Daddy & Ethan

Only two people were allowed in the NICU with Ethan at a time and either Scott or I had to be with him if there was a visitor. The security was great. We always felt that Ethan was in the best hands.

An echocardiogram was done and it showed that Ethan did have a couple of pin sized holes in his heart but that they anticipated them to close on their own without any need for surgical intervention. Praise God!

***To Be Continued...***

Ethan's Story, Part VI

Ethan, Scott, and I were taken to our postpartum suite area. It was a room with two beds and one bathroom, and yes, I had a roommate, ugh. Scott left the hospital to go home and rest close to 3:30am. There was NOWHERE for him to sleep in the PP room anyway.

All night, I just stared at Ethan. I could not believe that he was here! He never cried and he slept the entire night. He never ate. He would make these suckling motions and noises, but the nurse kept telling me that when he was hungry, he would cry. I never slept, I just stared and loved on my little boy.

Later that morning (7am), the pediatrician made rounds. She came back into my "room" and said that she "had concerns". I was alone. I was sleep deprived. I was a postpartum mother. I was a NEW mother. I was about to hear the words that forever changed our lives.

"Your baby shows markers for Down syndrome"

WHAT?!?!?!!? My ob never said anything! I took the AFP, it was negative! You're wrong, I thought. She showed me Ethan's palms and how he had the simian crease in both hands. She mentioned that his eyes appeared to look like a child with Down syndrome.

From that moment on, I just stared at Ethan. I DID NOT SEE IT.

Scott came right at the beginning of visiting hours. I broke the news to him. I think that he kept the emotions he was feeling to himself. Such is a man. We held on to some hope that they were wrong. It was all just one big coincidence.

As the day went on, we had visitors from family and friends. When my mom and sister, Kim, came by, they asked if I had nursed Ethan yet. No. They helped me at least try. Ethan would not latch on. For the first time in a LONG time, I felt bonded with my sister. She was helping me be a Mother. I will forever cherish that moment. I informed them of the doctors concerns and they didn't see it either.

Around 4:30pm, the nurses said that they needed to take Ethan to the nursery for assessment. They said that they would bring him right back. During this time, Scott's mom came with dinner. We enjoyed the meal until I told Scott that Ethan had been gone too long and to go check on him.

The next thing I know, a nurse comes in with another gown for me and says that I need to come to the nursery.

When I walk into the nursery, I see my baby boy laying underneath a warming lamp and oxygen hood. His blood sugar was down from not eating so he was given some sugar water. His oxygen saturation was not staying up, so they put him under the oxygen hood. He was presenting signs of infection (I was Group Beta Strep positive with only one dose of the antibiotic since my delivery went so quickly and because that was given at 6 cm, chances are it wasn't even in my system long enough to protect Ethan even a little), and the doctor thought that she heard a heart murmur.

The doctor called Valley Children's Hospital in Madera/Fresno to see if they wanted Ethan transported. As soon as they were given all of the signs/symptoms, VCH sent an ambulance to transport Ethan to VCH- an hour away. He wasn't even 24 hours old yet.

Waiting for the ambulance to come, I cried. I shook. I was so scared. What did I do? I took care of myself while pregnant? What could I have done differently?

***To Be Continued...***

Happy Birthday Jessie!

Me & Jess on our way to Santa Cruz, circa 1995


Foxy Ladies getting ready to head out on the town, AKA: VEGAS!!! 2003

Jessie and I have been friends since we met in college in 1994. She has been the keeper of many of my secrets, my bridesmaid in my wedding, one of my rocks after Ethan was born. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't have had a cell phone charger since I left mine at home and I was not going home for a phone charger after Ethan was born. She has always been one of my supports that never waivers. Sometimes, we go a long time without being able to talk since she is still in California and now has her own baby girl...ok, she's two now, but still.

We will always have stories to tell! I love you Jessie! I hope that you have a WONDERFUL birthday today. And, thank you for spending YOUR birthday with me so I could get married with you by my side. *muah*

Coming HOME!!!

Well, if all is going according to plan, I should be on a plane heading for London! We have a layover in London for 5 1/2 hours. If only we could go OUTSIDE OF THE AIRPORT!!! Oh well, I will say that I have been to London! LOL!

HAPPY 10th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!!!

Ten years ago today, Scott and I were married in front of over 200 of our family and friends. My dad walked me down the aisle. My mom and mother-in-law wore similar dresses, and yet so different. But, the best part was my fiance dressed in his tuxedo, soccer cufflinks, and Adidas tennis shoes meeting me at the altar. I could see the emotion in his face. He was trying to not cry. Then, my dad gave me away.

Our ceremony was not very long, but it seemed like an eternity because my bouquet had an extra DOZEN roses in it! That thing was heavy! But, it sure was beautiful. Pastor Maynard Mininger officiated. I am not sure if he officiated over any other weddings before he was killed in an auto accident by a drunk driver a couple years later (DO NOT DRINK & DRIVE!!!).

Our music was to the soundtrack of my most favorite movie of all time... THE PRINCESS BRIDE. (Mawage is what bwings us here togever tovay...do you have va wings?) My friend, Debbie Iversen sang a song by Dime Store Prophets while we lit the candles.

Pastor Mininger told Scott that I was the Queen- that's right. I even have it on video. HA! Our vows were standard, but Scott choked up when he said "Til death do us part". I, being the stone cold hearted person that I am, did not cry. (Dripping sarcasm there...it was very odd that I didn't cry)

I was SO hot. Not hot like sexy hot, but hot as in AFRICA hot! My makeup melted. My curls fell. I did not bring fixer up make-up, nor did I bring a curling iron. So, our pictures are not the most beautiful. People said that I was so happy that I was glowing. Um, thanks but no...I was melting!!!

Our reception was very laid back. It was held at my manager's home in her backyard. She has a beautiful home and even had a heart shaped bush in the backyard. I smashed the cake up Scott's nose- something to this day he vows to seek revenge upon. He won't do that to me. ;-)

We enjoyed our time with those we love. My cousin, Tara, caught the bouquet. And, come to think of it- I don't remember doing the garter. Hmmm...I don't remember why we didn't do the garter.

We went home, found that our bridal party thought that it would be hilarious to short sheet our bed (simply tucking in the sheets at the top of the bed instead of bottom). We didn't care- Scott can't stand tucked sheets anyway. We actually were sitting on the sofa watching the Pretender when we heard someone at our gate. It was our friends, Elvira & Brian, dropping off their gift. They did not want to disturb us. LOL! Right- we're watching TV. Come on in!

After they left, we had to be sure to have our bags packed. We left for Hawaii at 4 am the next morning!!!

~For Scott~
Happy Anniversary my love. Thank you for being an amazing husband and father. We have definitely had our share of challenges thrown at us over the past ten years, but we weather the storm and conquer. Thank you for the sacrifices that you make everyday for your family. I wish that I was with you now- instead, I am getting ready to board a plane for a very long trip home to you. Get ready for a welcome home to ME smooch. ;-) I love you. Never forget that or lose faith. We will conquer. Here's to another TEN!!!

Ethan's Story, Part VI

May 25th, 2001 1:21am

After a few pushes, Ethan came flying out. That was the most painful experience of my life- my dad, who was outside in his truck with the windows UP, heard my last scream to get Ethan OUT!!! Ok, so the whole hospital may have heard that. Give me a break- no drugs, remember!?!?!

I could not see him because I took my glasses off to get into the shower and then the rush to get into the bed without delivering on the floor kept me from realizing that I wasn't wearing them. Scott, Kamrin (my little sister), and my mom were there.

Ethan Scott Faulkner, 8 pounds, 20 1/2 inches with an 8/9 APGAR. LOTS of hair, no really- LOTS of hair. Everyone says that he looks like Scott.



Welcome to the world son.

***To Be Continued...***

Ethan's Story, Part V

May 24th, 2000

I am sitting in the recliner talking to my sister, Kim, on the phone. My due date is approaching and she is asking all sorts of questions. One of those questions was the ever personal "have you lost your plug?". Ummm, I don't think so. "Well, aren't you looking?". Sure, but half the time when I get up in the middle of the night, I leave the light off and I am not taking a flashlight to look.

Kim and I finish our conversation and I have to pee- imagine that at 9 months prego! Guess what I see? Yep. So, I called Kim back. "I lost my plug". Kim starts screaming in the phone and announcing it to all in her office---"My sister just lost her plug! The baby is coming soon!". Thanks for the announcement sis.

I had a nail appointment that day. So, I go to see Robin and I start having contractions. Robin was so cute making my nails and toes pretty for delivery day. I would put my head on the table with a contraction and she would announce it to the other technician's. Pretty nails in tow, I headed to JCPenney. I remembered that I still didn't have a nursing bra. I was still having contractions, but nothing regularly. I went home and unpacked the hospital bag and packed it again. I called Scott at work to tell him to stay close just in case.

My contractions were picking up a steady pace by 7pm. I didn't want to rush to the hospital before needing to be there and one of my biggest fears was getting to the hospital and being told to go home. Plus, it was Thursday which meant that Friends and Whose Line is it Anyway was on TV. I was not letting a little bit of early labor interfere with my weekly dose of comedy! I was on the couch on all fours rocking and breathing through the contractions and laughing in between. Scott was so funny- asking me if it was time multiple times. Not yet, maybe after the shows.

We got to the hospital around 10pm. Contractions were on top of each other now. We had to enter through the ER and I remember a little boy in the waiting room asking his mom what was wrong with me and she said, "She's going to have a baby". Then, I thought "Oh my gosh, I AM going to have a baby!"

I was checked in. It was a slow night in L&D. I was hooked up to the monitor and given the first of many 'checks'. It is true about what they say about checking your modesty at the door when you have a baby. I am expecting to be at least 4 cm and fully effaced. Nope. TWO CENTIMETERS, NOT EFFACED, -2 STATION!!! My fear was coming true. They are going to send me home!

Luckily, since it was slow, the nurses said to walk around and they would check me again in an hour. We walked, we rocked, we chatted with nurses, we rocked some more. Next check...FOUR CENTIMETERS, 80% EFFACED, 0 STATION!!! "Mrs. Faulkner, you are not going anywhere without a baby". Oh my gosh, this is really happening!

We did the same thing for the next hour. We discussed doing a water birth. I loved the idea of being in the water. I really did not want any drugs and something about the water seemed so calming. We were going to be moved to a larger room so that the tub could be set up. Before then, I was checked again. SIX CENTIMETERS, FULLY EFFACED, +2 STATION. As soon as the nurse was done checking me, my water broke. And then the REAL contractions kicked in. Oh my gosh- the previous contractions were NOTHING compared to post-water breaking contractions. My nurse came in and said "Honey, you are not going to get through this breathing like that". "WELL TELL ME HOW THEN", I snapped. After she showed me how to breathe, it was night and day. The contractions were so manageable through breathing.

Before the tub was set up, the shower was offered. We rolled up some towels for my knees and I got in the shower. Scott kept the warm water beating down on my back while also rubbing my lower back. I made sure to keep my palms flat against the shower wall instead of clinching them. I remembered our childbirth class nurse saying how when you tense up a part of your body, labor reacts in a defensive manner and it becomes harder. I was offered pain meds and I ignored the offers. I really did not want to be loopy for this occasion!

As things got intense, I was seeing lots of blood in the shower and the moans from me were getting louder. I was only in the shower about 20 minutes when I was checked again..."WE NEED TO GET YOU IN THE BED, YOUR BABY IS RIGHT THERE!"

***To Be Continued...***

Ethan's Story, Part IV

Scott and I had went back and forth on whether or not we wanted to know the sex of the baby. So, when we went in for our second u/s, the doctor asks us if we want to know. I asked the doctor how sure he was. He said, "100%". "Ok, tell me!" I couldn't take it. I had to know. It's a boy. I knew it. I knew he was a boy. But, Scott's brothers have girls, so I didn't think that it was possible for a Faulkner to have a boy! And, my sister only had boys at the time, so one of the grandparents was going to be getting a first. You should have seen Scott's face when the doctor said the baby was a boy- I think that every man looks forward to having a son and you could see it in his face how excited he was then. Scott's mom was elated while I think my mom was disappointed he wasn't a girl.

I didn't start showing until I was close to 7 months pregnant, and then it was WOW! There's a belly there! I guess that's because I already had a belly to begin with. I joke that I loved my pregnant belly because it was the firmest my stomach had been in years! :) I had a wonderful pregnancy- just some sciatica issues, but Ethan was very kind to me. He didn't beat my ribs up keep me up at night. The only thing that Ethan did to annoy me was have hiccups constantly.

I remember when Theresa was pregnant with Madison, she would tell me that Madison had the hiccups. I asked how she knew and Theresa responded with, "You'll know". So true. Ethan had them every day.

Hindsight is 20/20 you know...Ethan really wasn't an active baby in utero. But, I didn't know any different since he was my first. He moved every so often and had the hiccups- I just thought that he was running out of room in there.

My doctor took me out of work three weeks before my due date of May 29th. My blood pressure was starting to elevate and only coming down by laying down on my side. I was ordered to take it easy. I am sure that the part about me nesting and rearranging my entire living room was not part of taking it easy. I moved an entire entertainment center, 36 inch TV, sofa, and recliner by myself. My sister-in-law was going to help me after she picked up my niece from school, but I was just too dang impatient. Yes, she yelled at me later for that. But, my living room looked SO much better and ready for Ethan's arrival.

***To Be Continued...***

Ethan's Favorite Songs

For Stephanie, who has never heard of Charlie Daniel's Band and "The Devil Went Down to Georgia". :-)



Ethan is a rocker at heart. Ethan is the ONLY person Scott will dance with. They ROCK!

"Remedy" by Seether


And, Daddy's Favorite band Disciple. Scott has actually become friends with the lead singer, Kevin. Scott, Ethan, and I had the pleasure of having lunch with Kevin once. He really is an amazing man. Enjoy "The Wait is Over"...Ethan does!