Shep update - Pathology Results

The vet called yesterday with Shep's pathology report. The report really didn't offer any definitive answers, but it did say something to the effect that there were differentials of either fibrosarcoma or tissue sarcoma, both of which are cancers. She said that we would have to have a biopsy done in order to know for sure which one we were dealing with and at what stage, etc.

This is where it gets tricky. If we were to go ahead with the biopsy, the vet would just remove the tumor because he would have to be sedated anyway and we already have a strong suspicion of what the tumor is so all the biopsy would say would be to remove the tumor and we wouldn't put him through two procedures, plus the cost of two procedures with sedation would be crazy high. As of right now, the tumor is not causing him any pain and it has, likely, not spread to any other organs.

So, unofficially officially Shep has cancer. It is most likely the fibrosarcoma. With how quickly the tumor has grown over the past few months and with the pathology report, the vet is fairly sure that this is what it is.

The next step? Keeping him comfortable. The pain meds that we got for him last week have brought back our Shep! He has more energy and is being playful. The tumor will likely continue to grow and we will just have to keep an eye on it. Shep's bloodwork and urinalysis were fine, so that's good news. I do not think that Shep is ready to go yet and I do think that he will tell us when he's too tired anymore. So, we will continue to love our puppy, keep him happy, give him an extra scrap every now and then, take pictures, enjoy our time left- whether that's a limited amount of time or years, and keep him comfortable. That's our goal right now.

Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive of this time.

Not Ready

Last night, Scott came in the house and said that Shep wasn't moving hardly at all and that he found additional small masses on his chest in addition to the larger mass on his chest that has also grown.

Shep is our 11 year old Chow Chow/German Shepherd baby. We got him 2 weeks before our wedding. We hadn't planned on getting a dog, it just happened when our neighbor at the time came over with two puppies in her arms thinking that they belonged to us. There was a boy and a girl, but the sweet boy winked at me and therefore, he stayed. The plan was to put up flyers for the lost puppies and that the owners would come back for him, but they never came. I named him Shep- original, I know- because he looked more German Shepherd when he was a puppy.

I had taken Shep to the vet over the summer to have the mass checked out and the aspirate showed abnormal cells. It was recommended that we have pathology done on a sample to identify the abnormal cells, but we couldn't afford it which totally and completely broke our hearts.

I posted on Facebook about Shep's condition last night and many wonderful people said wonderful things. In addition, mention of putting an animal down came up many times. Yes, I know that he is old, but I am not ready. I am not ready to think of our lives without Shep.

I took Shep to the vet today and she is now referring to the mass as a tumor and she also confirmed that it was much larger. She is sending out the pathology slides today and we should know what's going on by next week. I asked her about "worse-case scenario" and she said that it really depends on what it is. It could just be a benign tumor, or it could be cancer. The look she gave me makes me think that we are not going to get good news next week.

I am SO not ready. I know that Scott is not ready. The look of worry on his face last night was horrible. Scott and Shep have an incredible bond...oh my gosh, I.AM.NOT.READY.

Just found something that brought me to tears

I just found a planner from 2004. I had forgotten all about this planner. Scott had started "journaling" day by day in the beginning and I took over towards the end...

Friday, February 13th

Ethan has fever @ 105.3
Found out Ethan has ALL
Did bone marrow check
Blood transfusion, IV's started
Decadron & Zantac

12:20am Get on plane to NC

02/14/04

Arrived in NC 9:30am
Arrived at hospital 1pm
Platelets
Decadron
Zantac

02/15/04

Decadron
Zantac

02/16/04

Spinal check for ALL
No cells
Spinal methotrexate
Bone marrow check
Platelets
Decadron
Zantac

02/17/04

Had port-a-cath put in
Started vincristine
Decadron
Zantac

02/18/04

Decadron
Zantac

02/19/04

Bad diaper rash
Decadron
Zantac

02/20/04

Had L-asparaginase shot
Decadron
Zantac
Went home!

02/21/04

Threw up
Made everyone sick
Decadron
Zantac

02/22/04

Decadron
Zantac

02/23/04

Came to clinic
Spinal check
Spinal methotrexate shot
L-asparaginase shot
Vincristine
Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan for rash

02/24/04

First night in house!
Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan

02/25/04

Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan

02/26/04

Clinic
L-asparaginase shot
platelets
Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan

02/27/04

Bad diaper rash
Diarrhea
No eating
Called Dr. @ 6:30pm
Shaky, eyes rolling
Called Dr. back @ 11:30pm
Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan

02/28/04

Got to ER @ 12:30am
Started IV antibiotics
Took blood
Got to room at 3:30am
Got morphine
Got to sleep @ 4:30am
Decadron
Zantac

02/29/04

Found out you have a blood infection = min. 10 day hospital stay
Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan

03/01/04

Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan
L-asparaginase shot
Vincristine

03/02/04

Started losing some hair
Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan
Hard times getting to sleep

03/03/04

Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan
Red blood transfusion
Found out that you are O- blood, we thought you were O+!!! {He is actually O+, O- is just universal blood}
Rough night sleeping again :(

03/04/04

Infection id'd as streptococcous pneumonia
Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan
L-asparaginase
Platelet count: 23

03/05/04

Chris turns 30!
Slept better!
Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan
Platelets still 23, other counts coming up

03/06/04

Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan

03/07/04

Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan
Counts still coming up slowly
Platelets up to 32!!
Blood in stool

03/08/04

Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan
Vincristine
Dr. McLean is keeping us here another week...
Platelets: 52!
WBC coming up very sloooowly

03/09/04

Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan
no nap
nurses call you "no nap Ethan"

03/10/04

Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan
no nap

03/11/04

Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan
Rachael came by to visit
Platelets up to 99!!!
Going home Sunday! WOOHOO!!! :-)
Mommy left the hospital for the first time to p/u Madison
Cousin Benjamin Justin born at 10:50pm, 7 lbs. 12 oz. 18 1/2 inches

03/12/04

Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan
T*Potts being watched for pre-eclampsia
Delaney Claire born 5:18pm via c-section, 4 lbs. 4 oz. 18 inches

03/13/04

Savannah turns 1!
Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan
Platelets 171!!!
Normal range! :-)

03/14/04

Aunt Kamrin turns *18*
Decadron
Zantac
Diflucan
Last antibiotic 8am
GOING HOME!

03/15/04

Clinic 8:30am
Bone Marrow - Sedation Suite

REMISSION!!!

03/22/04

Back to school- everyone missed you so much!!!

03/26/04

Methotrexate (MTX) infusion

03/27/04

MTX infusion

03/28/04

Go home

04/01/04

Go back to work - off early
-Clinic, rec'd blood/fluids

04/02/04

Stay home w/Daddy

04/11/04

Samantha's birthday
ER- viral infection, admitted

04/14/04

GO HOME!

04/16/04

Clinic - MTX canceled due to SEG's still too low

04/17-18/04

Good weekend!

04/22-23/04

MTX

04/24/04

Go home

04/25/04

Mouth sores form already :(
Stopped eating

04/26/04

Went to school - all you would drink was chocolate milk

04/27/04

Took you into clinic fearing your counts were low/dehydrated. They admitted you and started you on fluids.

04/28/04

Blood

05/02/04

Started TPN (nutrients in IV) since you still would not eat/drink

05/04/04

Ate pudding!!!! Yay!

04/06/04

Go home!

05/08/04

Gramma turns 50!
Auntie Ang comes to visit!

05/10/04

Counts up!

05/11/04

Take Ang back to CLT

05/12/04

WORK! SCHOOL! Great day!

05/13/04

Clinic 8:30am
LP 12pm
MTX 5pm

05/14/04

Fab Four Reunite!!! CZ, DD, & SLD CLT 7:35am...9:30am due to flight delay

05/15/04

GO HOME!

05/16/04

Mouth sores start

05/25/04

Ethan turns *3*!!!

06/03/04

MTX - 7pm
Kay Ann Sohn brings dinner

06/04/04

Aaron & Debbie Wilkins bring dinner

06/05/04

Allison, Jerry, Mogan, & Holden Barnes bring dinner

06/09/04

CA!!!

06/11/04

Aunt Kamrin's Graduation!

The end.

My Wedding Day

My Wedding Day

from Life With My Special Ks by Mommy to those Special Ks and since our 11 year anniversary is rapidly approaching, I thought I would steal it.

1. What was the date of your wedding?
October 17, 1998

2. Was this your first wedding?
Yes

3. How many times were you a bridesmaid
A couple

4. Did you get married in a church?
Yes

5. Did you write your own vows?
No

6. Who walked you down the aisle?
My dad

7. What were your colors?
Dark purple

8. How many attendants did you have?
4

9. What was your something old?
I don't remember! Oh, shoot- that's bad.

10. What was your something new?
Dress

11. What was your something borrowed?
My veil

12. What was your something blue?
My garter had blue on it

13. What kind of flowers did you have in your bouquet?
White Roses. My wonderful florist (my friend's mom) added and extra DOZEN! Man, that thing was heavy!

14. What were your centerpieces at the reception?
There were none... I don't think. Nope. *same here Renee! none that I can remember anyway*

15. If you could go back is there anything you would change about your wedding?
Ohhh so many things.

16. How old were you when you got married?
21

17. What was your first dance song?
No dancing

18. Did you have alcohol at your reception?
Nope

19. How many guests did you have?
Around 200

20. How long were you engaged before the wedding?
6 months

21. How long did you date before you were engaged?
2.5 years

22. Where did you go on your honeymoon?
Oahu, Hawaii

23. What did your wedding band look like?
It became part of the engagement ring to wrap around the marquis diamond in the center. It also has 3 very itty bitty tiny diamonds on it.

24. What was your most memorable moment about your wedding?
Smashing cake up Scott's nose. He still says he is plotting his revenge.

25. Were you nervous at your wedding?
Not really

Bringing Kellsey Home: iPod Touch Giveaway!!!

Bringing Kellsey Home: iPod Touch Giveaway!!!

Go over to Renee & Frank's adoption blog, donate $10 and earn an entry to win an iPod!!!

The HORROR!

Ok, what would you have done?

Yesterday, I show up at school to pick up Ethan and there is another woman who just arrived as well. She pulls an infant carrier seat out of the car and I see that the baby inside of it is not strapped in/buckled!!!!! I was on the phone with Kamrin when I saw it and I just couldn't believe my eyes! This woman was walking more like the baby was a nuisance, it made my blood boil.

So, she goes into school and gets her child. She also had a, I'm guessing, 2 year old with her. She swatted him into the car and this is when I notice that he does not have a car seat! The woman proceeded to throw the baby seat into the backseat and sped off. I wanted to get a plate number so I could call the police, but she left too quickly for me to do that. I could have said something and I didn't. Would you have? I have felt bad about this since yesterday. What if something happened to those babies? To me, it was the same as letting a drunk person drive home because it's not your business. What if that drunk person injured/killed someone else because you didn't speak up?

Oh, the horror.

Life With My Special Ks: Ryan needs a home!

Life With My Special Ks: Ryan needs a home!

Recent Life in Pictures

My friend, Paula, was home for a visit from Louisiana over Labor Day weekend. We celebrated Parks' 2nd birthday a little early! MISS YOU PAULA!!!


Saw the Mystery Machine in a restaurant parking lot. The cardboard notes in the windows say, "If you take a picture, please leave a tip". And, where exactly was I supposed to leave a tip?


Saturday was Delaney's first soccer game. SO cute!!! I love watching the little ones play!


Delaney and her Daddy, Chris, after the game! We missed Theresa and Madison because they were at a Williams Syndrome picnic in Raleigh.


Auntie Boo and her little soccer player


Daddy teaching Ethan how to kick the ball. Can you say, Awwwwwww??? ;)


More kicking. I have a video too... :)







I braided Hope's hair today. She is incredibly awesome to sit through it for being 19 months old! I love her little curl ponytail- which is natural, I didn't curl it. I think it turned out pretty cute!
****************************************************

That catches me up to today, I am pretty sure.

Tooth Pics

I miss you.

Yes, that is an aerial shot of Mariposa. I miss you.


PB = Home Always. I miss you.


Mammoth Pooths = Pure camping happiness. I miss you.


More MP. I really miss you.


Merced River = Refreshing Beauty. I miss you.



Merced River Rapids = Sound of home. I miss you.



Hume Lake = Where God entered my life. I miss you.
************************************************

You could say I am homesick. I miss the comforts of home, I miss my family, I miss my friends. I just miss.

Lost tooth

So, Ethan lost a tooth this morning. It had been loose for a while, but not nearly ready enough. Even the dentist said last month that it would likely be a while before it came out. Mary asked me last night if it was loose, but I just thought it was as loose as it was the day before. Well, this morning I had Ethan in bed with me and all of a sudden, he started crying. It was pretty random, but he was over it fairly quickly. Then, I thought I saw blood dripping from his lip. Hmmmm, I try to look (still dark by the way) and nothing. I then notice the blood drip marks on my sheets! Ok buddy boy, where are you bleeding? That's when I see this tooth hanging on by practically nothing. Scott held his arms while I popped it out.

I am thinking that he made it really loose the day before when he got mad and decided to bite his shoe aggressively. We'll see how his teeth shift now, because he doesn't have room for a permanent one to come in and his teeth will shift with the gap if nothing tries to come up in its place. Could get interesting...

*Pictures to be added later*

"You're a pretty lady."

I am at the gas station about to grab my receipt after pumping 16 $2.42 gallons of gas and this man is walking towards me after leaving the mini-mart. I am thinking that this man works for the station and is just being nice after he said "Good morning, and How are you?", but once he continued, I realized that he wasn't an employee. The interaction continued as follows:

Me: Good morning. I am good, thank you.

Man: You're a pretty lady.

Me: Oh, why thank you.

Inquisitive man: You probably have a husband, don't you?

Me: *slight chuckle* Yes, I do. Almost 11 years, thank you.

Bold man: Figures. That is one lucky man.

Me: *laugh* I would say so. Maybe you can remind him of that sometime.

Happy to oblige man: Oh yes ma'am. I would in a second tell your man how lucky he is to have a fine looking woman like you.

Me: *getting into car before spontaneously combusting from laughter* Well, aren't you sweet. Have a great day.


I told Scott that he had competition. LOL.

The Ah Ha

First, thank you to everyone who has enjoyed watching Ethan's video walking as much as I do! I have watched it multiple times, it just doesn't get old! He has come SO far and has worked SO hard! I am so proud of my boy!

Back to the Ah Ha...

I took E to the doctor today because last week I had noticed on multiple occasions that he was overheating. His cheeks would get way flushed and his temperature would be that of a 101-102 fever. Once I had him chill out and relax, it would go back down to around 97, which is normal for him. I began thinking- he really doesn't sweat. I wondered if the lack of ability to sweat was having him overheat. ???

Well, the answer is that I was right...kinda. His thyroid appears to be normal right now and he has sweated before, BUT he is on Robinul which is a drying agent to help keep his secretions under control. Unfortunately, it can also keep him from sweating which can lead to overheating. AH HA.

Luckily, the weather has been just perfection the past few days so I really don't think we will have to worry about overheating much again until next summer. We just have to make sure that he is very hydrated. No problem. Easy fix. Whoa, wait- did I just say "easy fix"? Say it isn't so! LOL!

Easy. I can get used to that.

OMG, OMG, OMG!!! MUST SEE!!!

*TISSUE WARNING!!!!!!*



Look Mom, No hands!!!

Yes, I cried...tears of happiness, of course!!! :-)