Angry

I'm angry.  I've been angry but haven't really acknowledged it openly.  So, here I am to acknowledge publicly that I am ANGRY. 

I am angry over something I had no control over.  Someone close to me aborted recently.  By law, that was her right to do, HOWEVER...

• Do NOT continue to brag about how you want to have a BABY so bad with ___________
• Do NOT say that you would go through any amount of pain to have said BABY
• Do NOT continually have unprotected sex more than bunnies do with _____________ and then act shocked that you got pregnant with a BABY
• Do NOT cry to me about not having money to pay for said BABY
• Do NOT tell me that ________ is never going to get a job to take care of you and said BABY
• Do NOT tell me that you love the BABY and that it was conceived out of love

Do NOT tell me all of these things (and more) and then decide that it's all just too much.

Why do I care so much?  Why am I so angry?  I'll tell you why- it is infuriating that people like this can reproduce and throw the baby away when so many people want babies and can't for one reason or another.  That includes me at this moment.  How badly I want another baby- for me, my husband, but mostly for Ethan.  We have waited for many reasons and I am fearful that it may never happen.  So yeah, I'm angry.  What I would give to be pregnant and here this person knew what she was doing and used abortion as her birth control when her distorted fantasy became reality. 

From day one, she referred to the baby as a BABY.  She flushed her baby down the toilet.  I would have taken care of that baby if given the chance. 


*Really don't want to have any abortion debates.  I understand the whole woman's right to choose deal, but this is personal.  This was no OOPS.  That baby deserved life.

Disrespect....grrr.

Ethan had his semi-annual HEMOC clinic checkup today (everything looks FABULOUS!).  My friend and I picked Ethan up from school and headed over to the hospital.  The hospital turned into a "smoke-free campus" at least a year or so ago.  Signs like this are all over:

And yet, people completely disregard these signs that are posted all over.  I have spoken up on numerous occasion before to people that continue to smoke in the parking deck and surrounding entrances to the hospital.  I have yet to encounter a person that says, "I am sorry, I'll put out my cigarette right now".  I have been ignored, lied to (which was almost comical since I could see the smoke AND smell it- HELLO), and been told to mind my own business.

I'm all for minding my own business if you want to smoke in your own place of residence, but when my child has to walk through your puff of toxins, I will NOT mind my own business and I WILL become the Mama Bear or BITCH (as I was called today) that you do not want to mess with.

So, we park and get out to four or five people standing in a circle- all of them smoking.  I look at them and remind them that the hospital is a smoke-free campus and they shouldn't be smoking.  I always have high hopes for the ideal response as noted above, but today wasn't the day for that again.  

In a nutshell, I was told to "GO ON" and "WHATEVER" because it was none of my business.  Um, yeah- that's when it got ugly.  I was called a bitch (among other things).  My friend had already taken Ethan inside the sliding glass doors, but she could still see/hear everything.  The woman that felt the need to be beyond disrespectful was trying to threaten me by saying, "Go on, OR ELSE".  Or else what?  What are you going to do?  Try and threaten me, honey, it won't work.  She went on to yell that her father was upstairs dying, as if that was going to make their total disregard of the rules ok.  I said (ok, I may have been yelling by this point), "Well, my son has been dying upstairs before and I have had to bring him through this parking deck with pneumonia as someone like you with zero regard to anyone else keeps on smoking."  

Ok, so there may have been some expletives in there.  I admit it.  When someone cannot step away from their own selfishness and it affects my child, I am not a pretty person.  She came closer to me, I got closer to her and I really thought for a moment that I was going to have a physical altercation with this woman.  And, this is just the condensed PG version.  

Security finally came up and oh.so.kindly told the group that they were not allowed to smoke.  They obliged in the end.  I just wish that I had my JACKASS schtick, but it was in the car dangnabbit!

This may not be a big deal to anyone else, but unless you've seen an asthmatic struggle to breathe just from the slightest hint of smoke, or watched your child struggle to breathe from pneumonia, you may never understand why I stand up for this rule to be followed and respected.  It's a freaking hospital for crying out loud...

And, for what it's worth, I really hope that her father is healed or that his passing is peaceful.  I also hope that her outburst was simply a release of stress and that she really isn't the inconsiderate beyotch that I left thinking she was.