SSI

Yes, I feel like this right about now in regards to Social Security.

Every month, I have to supply our financial statements and paystubs to the local SSA office. I happily provide the information because, frankly, they provide Ethan's insurance. Once they have logged the important info, they send me back my papers and I then shred them.

SSA called a couple of weeks ago and REQUIRED requested that I send them the exact same info AGAIN from August 2008 to present. If they don't get said documents in 15 days, they will cut Ethan off. I believe that it is in the job description at SSA to talk to their clients like they are the scum of the earth.

NEWS FLASH: I did NOT ask for this. I did NOT purposefully make my child have an extra chromosome so I could milk the SSDI system. I would really appreciate it if they quit treating me like some welfare-loving, crack-addicted, knocked-up whore from the other side of the tracks.

The only reason that we have SSDI is because of Ethan's needs and my inability to have a "real" job because of those needs. Daycare's will not take Ethan. Why not? Because, he is an almost 8 year old child with Down syndrome, PDD-NOS, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) who is not potty trained, nor walking without assistance, nor eating/drinking without assistance. That list does not fare well in the general daycare population.

Then, we have Ethan's private therapies that he needs and all of the specialists that he sees. Even our caseworker said to me, "You couldn't work if you wanted to". Yeah, no kidding.

We have been on the medicaid waiver (CAP-MR/DD) list for about 4 years now. I was told that we seem like we would be priority when a slot opens, but who knows. In the meantime, we get closer and closer to bankruptcy and possibly losing our house (no, we are not behind on our mortgage, but it is a possibility every month).

We are only allowed a certain amount of income before SSA would cut off Ethan. You would be shocked at the amount. Basically, I can't even get a part-time job because we would run the risk of going over and, frankly, the cost of gas to and from would not be worth it.

All of this stress is going to make me lose it. I am trying to do the best I can for Ethan and I am treated like dirt for it. It's just all so frustrating. This is not where we should be! We always had limited debt and now, we are about maxed out from living on credit way back when Ethan was in the hospital all of the time. The hospital has ruined my perfect credit. If I had balls, then the government would be holding them.

(*I am sorry for that rant. I did not intend on that! But, it feels better to be able to vent a little. Just ignore me. We'll be ok.*)