Emotions

Ethan had VitalStim Therapy today. He had a different therapist today and he didn't like that very much. Because our SLP is on vacation, we were squeezed into another slot with another SLP. She is very nice. She is firm with Ethan- which he totally hated. Anyway, because we were squeezed in, the therapist actually had two other children to do therapy with while we were. They were sweet children. One was a little girl with chunkamunk legs and chubby cheeks. The other was the most adorable little boy who blew me kisses from the moment he came into the room. Both of them had trachs. Olivia had a trach.

Now, I have seen other children with trach's since Olivia's passing. I don't know what was different about today. The little girl got so upset over something and she had to be suctioned. I had to bow my head down to the side as the tears started flowing down my face and yet I didn't want anyone to see. Hearing the sound, seeing the catheter- part of me wanted to help. It was a huge honor to me when Karen taught me how to suction Olivia's trach. That is not something that she just taught anyone to do. And, I hate necks. It was an adjustment initially to see Livvie with the trach, but because it helped her, I learned to not let it bother me. I would do anything for Olivia. I just can't tell you how much I love that little girl.

Please continue to pray for Karen. Occurances like this happen all the time for Karen. There are reminders everywhere that Olivia is not here physically anymore. Even though my heart is broken along with so many others who had the privilege of knowing and loving Princess O, it will never compare to the broken heart of Karen and Weldon.