"THE TALK"

Wow, it's been a while since I have been here.  Lots has happened in the last two months- we went to California, Ethan turned TEN, our niece {Samantha} got married, Ethan completed the 3rd grade {functional curriculum}, and we are now in the routine of summer.

Before we left for California, Shep was retching really bad and I was very concerned.  I took him to the vet and after x-rays and exam, it was determined that allergies were the culprit of the retching but what was also discovered was that his cancer had spread to his lungs.  :'( 

Shep also had a growth on his booty that wasn't huge, but looked painful.  Well, that tumor has grown and Shep has been having some issues.  He is not eating as much and has had some bleeding.  I will spare the graphic details, but it's really bad.  And, it makes him smell....bad.  Poor thing wants to come in the house more, but he just smells so bad now.  It breaks our hearts.

I took Shep into the vet this morning to see about what we can do about the growth, if anything.  And, in a nutshell, we can opt to have it removed but there is no guarantee that more problems won't arise OR even that he could make it through anesthesia since his lungs are so bad. 

Then, she said it. 

"It's almost time to talk about options.  He's really really sick."

I don't have a timeline, only "he doesn't have much time".  We discussed quality over quanitity, burial or cremation. 

Everyone has told me that we will know and right now, I just don't know and I am not prepared to make that call even though I have known this day was coming since we first learned of his cancer. 

I totally understand why my Mom says "NO MORE PETS" after one passes...this is just too much.