Brace yourselves, this one's tough...

Ok, well the last thing you heard from me was that Ethan had some CT's and that I was off to work at Victory Junction for the weekend. Well, the CT with contrast showed some definite stuff going on in Ethan's right lung. The pulminologist was then called and he decided to do a bronc (a scope put down the throat and into the airway to gather stuff to culture). I was told that it was a minor procedure done in the sedation suite and it would be just like when Ethan has his spinal taps. Since Ethan has had so many spinals, I was put at ease to go ahead with the original plans of working Victory Junction.

I went ahead and went to VJ and went through the orientation. It was a little past 5pm when Scott called me. I was going to be getting ready to meet my camper in less than a half hour. Scott tried to keep things light, but he knew as soon as he told me what happened with Ethan that I would be leaving camp and heading back to the hospital.

I will cut to the chase...During the bronc, Ethan vomited into his open airway. His lungs and upper airway were filled with pus- more than even showed up on any of the scans. Scott was asked to leave the room and shortly afterward, Ethan coded blue. A swarm of doctors rushed to Ethan's aid, he was intubated and put on a ventilator. Another tube was also put up his nose and down into his stomach. Ethan was now in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit or PICU. My heart stops thinking of what he went through or even how Scott was feeling when it all happened. I feel like I should have been there- we should have been there together, but I can't take it back.

While in the PICU, Ethan was on a fentanyl and versed drip. One was considered a "paralytic" so he wouldn't fight the vent. Because of the medicine, his bladder could not work either, so a catheter was inserted (thank God he was asleep for that torture!) We have seen a lot of things happen to Ethan over the past two years, but this past experience has to top the list of horrific feelings. The good news out of all of this is: Ethan is so stubborn that not even a little PICU action is going to get him down! And, now we have some definite answers for all of Ethan's fevers.

We knew that Ethan was aspirating his fluids, but even after thickening them, he would still get fevers. Well, his reflux was sending gunk back up into his airway even after being digested. We are going to be talking to a surgeon about a procedure to make sure the flap between the esophagus and the stomach stays shut and stuff can't come back up.

So, Ethan needed some blood while in PICU. All of the massive amount of fluids that were being pumped into his little body made him anemic and his blood pressure was not stabilizing. Another chest x-ray done yesterday morning showed great improvement, so Ethan was taken off of the vent, the tube was removed from his belly and the cath was also removed. He was very swollen and beyond groggy drunk, but he did really well!

I tell ya, Ethan really does deserve a medal. He amazes me with the ability to smile even after the hell he goes through.

Thank you for the prayers, dinners, visits, and phone calls offering support...I apologize if we were not up to visiting today. Sleep has not been in the stars for the past couple of nights. Ethan did not sleep last night and was very fussy. I can't imagine why! Today, he was still wanting and needing to sleep, but he still would not. We got him some benedryl this afternoon and he finally went to sleep, as did I. We got in a few hours and Scott had put a message on the door that we were trying to sleep so no one disturbed us.

Scott and I are feeling better. Of course, with everything that just happened, anyone is going to have a hard time getting me to leave Ethan right now. He looks SO much better, but he still needs oxygen and was starting to peak a slight fever tonight. Sorry, no pictures...we do not want to document the last couple of days with pictures, but as soon as he is smiling again- I will be sure to pass them on! I did get him laughing a little today, but not for long.

I am sure that I am forgetting something, but I just also want to acknowledge my work and Scott's work for being so amazing during this time (as always). I also want to thank those involved with my schooling. I have not been able to even come close to concentrate on it over the past couple of weeks, but I am hoping the next week will bring better things.

We do not know how long we will be here, but FINALLY the doctors are treating things aggressively. I discussed Ethan's chemotherapy with his doctor today. While I am nervous to get him back on it after this past week, I also realize that we have one clear chance to beat the leukemia and this is it. Ethan has had his chemo held so many times over the past year and I just do not want to give the leukemia any more of a chance to come back.

I think that's it- plus Ethan is having a couging spell. Gotta go. Hugs.