This I Believe {Seriously, a MUST read}

My friend, Michelle, called me early the other morning.  She proceeds to tell me that her daughter, Kayleigh (she took the Reflections pictures of Ethan), wanted to do her AP English paper on the "R" word.  The topic had to be controversial and she would have to persuade the reader that her opinion was the right one.  The "R" word topic seemed perfect!  Until, her lovely older brother chimed in.  "You can't do that."  Um, ok...why not, Devin?  Because that is what I wrote my paper on last year for the same teacher, and I got an "A". 

Needless to say, I was in tears.  Good tears, of course.  Michelle said the sweetest thing to me that morning:  "You have no idea how much of an impact you and Ethan have had on my kids". 

What is so amazing to me is that Devin wrote this paper without telling anyone.  He didn't look for recognition or praise.  He did this from his heart.  He had enough conviction to go against the norm of society, especially teenage society to stick up for what's right.  Ethan- my darling, wonderful, loving, son- taught him. 

I offer to you, with permission and great pride, Devin's paper. 


This I Believe
By:  Devin Lyons
13 December 2009

To many, a word is just a word, used to communicate one’s thoughts, ideas, and knowledge to another, nothing more. Hardly ever does one stop and think of the true power of words. Everlasting encouragement in times of need, the passing on of crucial information, saying a first hello and final good-bye to a loved one, all given such powerful influence based upon the words used. The choice of one’s words can sway mass amounts of people in their thoughts and can even move some to tears. Words can also discriminate and cause anger and hatred among people. They can be used as slander, cut our enemies down, and ruin a lifelong reputation. I believe that many people in this age have become too comfortable with some words which offend many others, which deliberately disrespects others by refusing to try to comprehend why they are offended by these words and instead conforming to a single-minded state of being. These words used by many very causally as a joking term can be a figurative slap in the face to others who have dealt with the literal subject. I believe that in a world with an endless amount of words and phrases that we should be obligated as descent human beings to take the route we know will not offend or spark conflict.


I used to be one of those kids who would always speak without thinking, not caring what words I used and how they truly affected those around me, whether I was speaking or referring to them or not. The term “retard” itself was probably one of the most common words in my vocabulary, which makes sense considering the stupid things I see on a daily basis because of some of my friends’ actions. This specific word is what changed my views on speaking due to a courageous little boy and his mother.


“Haha, yeah we always do retarded things like that.” That sentence still sticks out in my mind like a sore thumb. To many people, it seems like a simple enough sentence, seemingly harmless, used only to describe a healthy friendship; or at least that’s what my single-minded brain thought at the time. But this time, a mother put her two cents in. In a very frank message, she explained her story concerning her son. He has suffered and survived a three-year bout of leukemia, back surgery, almost debilitating ligaments, and also has autism and Down syndrome. Oh, and he’s also only eight years old.


In this message she explained, quite frankly I must add once again, how the term “retard” is not only an insult to her and all others who are medically diagnosed as “mentally retarded” but her son as well. When we use this word, she explained to me, we not only infer that these mentally handicapped kids are stupid but present the idea that they are incapable of doing anything smart or praiseworthy in their lives. Her last statement to me on the subject was “Hasn’t my son been through enough in his life to not have to worry about people making fun of him for something he has absolutely no control over?”


One single word caused this. One single word, spoken one time. I hadn’t meant it in this meaning, but that could never control the outcome. How many times had she heard this hated word in this context? Five? Ten? One hundred? More? Her son, who had been through more in eight years than most people will ever encounter their entire lives, had made it through the physical trials of life, but now was being subjected to a stereotype in which he was better than. His mother saw him struggle through one of the most deadly forms of cancer, back and ligament problems, and watches him grow up apart from normal kids because he cannot speak and communicate due to his mental conditions, and they are strong enough to push through. However, the words we use to speak of extreme stupidity which are the same words which characterize her son’s condition have enough power to draw her to tears.


There is no justification for us in choosing words we know will negatively affect others. In the world we live in, we have countless numbers of words to describe basically the exact same thing. So why do we choose to use a word over and over again that may hurt another when there are tens of other words or phrases that get across the exact same message? I believe that it’s one of the ultimate forms of disrespect to use words we know will lead to another feeling offended. Although some people view this as people being too sensitive to a simple word, words are what dictate the world. Each person in this world knows that there are some things that if they would hear, they would go off. This is the exact same situation that I am speaking of. That sentence, that phrase, that word, it just makes us lose control of our emotions for a split second, no matter if the speaker meant it to be offensive or not. It causes superfluous anger and hostility into an already volatile world. Choosing not to avoid this effect by simply changing a few words just because you don’t care what how other people may react or be affected is extremely disrespectful. If there’s such an easy way to avoid conflict or making another feel offended right in front of us, I believe that it’s only descent and respectful to everyone around us to take advantage of that.